now I'm bummed about it. I'm starting to wish it was all over with as much a Jody. Not that I was hoping for the treatment to last longer or anything. It's just that he really wasn't feeling bad, or at least didn't seem to feel that bad. But now, it shows. He spent yesterday having treatment, from 11 am to about 3:30 pm. Jolea even said, "Dad was gone all day.... I didn't see him before I left for Jess' wedding... I couldn't find him..." She didn't know he had treatment and sure didn't realize how long it took. When I came home he was asleep or maybe just lying on the couch wishing he could sleep, but I knew the minute I walked in he wasn't well. I could feel it. I have never seen him like this. Never this ill.
We were able to talk a little later last night, in the garage of course, that's his sanctuary you know. Jody isn't a talker like me... So when he talks I stop and listen for as long as he wants to talk. Sometimes it's a couple of minutes, sometimes it's 4 or 5 hours. Last night he said he had talked to his Doctor about how he's getting different information from the nurses than what the Doctor tells him. The nurses are all "you look so good... this is going to sting just a tiny bit.... you may feel a bit of discomfort.... you may be a little sore in the morning..." When in fact it's more like "HOLY CRAP you look like.... Brace yourself big fella... here... put this stick in your mouth and bite down.... Buddy, you are going to feel like you were hit by a Mack Truck tomorrow, take a handful of Vicoden, here take this guy's too...."
Jody said only his Doctor tells him the truth. So he ignores the nurses and asks to see the Doctor. What Dr. Jones told him yesterday was that he will begin to feel worse with every treatment until the treatments are finished. As his body is continually poisoned by the chemo his body is getting weaker and hopefully the cancer is getting weaker too. So it's a battle of which can last the longest... his body or the cancer. It makes me wonder, and I'm sure Jody wonders this too, how do people do this for years on end? Taking chemo for years. Jody's treatment is like none other I assure you. I don't think ANYONE else has ever attempted to cram as many treatments into such a short timespan. My friend Carol is only on her 3rd or 4th treatment and she was diagnosed and started treatment almost a week before Jody. I asked Jody if maybe he should slow down, but he doesn't want to. He is faced with a strict time line here, he has got to be done by the end of the year and back to work by 2009 or he will not be considered short term disability. 6 months... he has got to be finished. With his company leaving the country in as early as July 2009, he stands to loose a sizable portion of his pension if he is forced to go long term. And they (the French owners) could up and decide "He must not want to work anymore... lousy American Fatso" and cut him off completely, job, pension, 401K... (Jody said the French HATE the US, we're all Fatsos to them, at least the ones who own his company feel this way, they tell them when they visit the plant) What Jody isn't doing is giving his body time to bounce back from one treatment to the next, but he doesn't have time. Talk about a no win situation.
So life on the plains is about to become as tranquil as I can possibly make it. I'm stocking the freezer with ice cream, keeping the Braum's milk and Corn Flakes in stock. Lots of his favorite foods cooked up. Quiet and calm. Tranquility..... Come on December!
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I know the reality is that we all need money but at a time like this, when a body and a life are at risk, I cannot believe that the doctors are allowing Jody to cram so many treatments into such a short space of time. I had not idea this was J's choice. I thought it was what the doctors recommended. I can now understand more and visualise more just how much all these treatments is taking out of Jody. They must floor him, quite literally.
Yet I understand his reasoning but still, sigh, oh I don't know, I just wish that there was a health system in place in the US where one didn't have to rush treatments to reach certain allowable quotas, and that companies, be them owned by whatever country, still retained enough empathy and understanding to allow somebody to fight and win an major illness in a timely and dignified way.
I am so sorry that Jody is having to do it this way. I had no idea.
A pox on your health service for all the people who have to rush treatment, run out of treatment or can never get treatment. I may rag on my own country a bit but they sure came up trumps when I got sick - from start to finish.
I truly hope that the big financial breakdown happening across the globe now, will result in the US putting into a place a more socialistic system of medicine, as it is inhumane what many Americans have to put up with when they get sick; if getting sick wasn't bad enough in the first place.
Apologies for all the little mistakes in the above post. Hate it when that happens.
;)
I'm not a teacher so I don't correct grammar or spelling.
I think Jody has told the Dr. it's this rapid pace or nothing at all. He will walk out if they don't do this. It shows me that the Doctor isn't in this for the money, he truly wants to make this man well and if it means pushing his body to the limits then he'll do it. I think if it was really a danger or risk he wouldn't allow it. So really it's the company Jody works for that is at fault. They should not hold his job over his head when in fact it was his company that put him in the face of danger daily, with the toxic chemicals he has had to handle for the past 10 years.
Good point. The company should be ashamed if they are making Jody rush this for fear of losing his job.
When I got sick the school gave me all the time in the world to get better. It took a lot off my mind. I found a replacement teacher, my good friend, a Brazilian, ha ha ha, can you believe I convinced my school to give a Brazilian a cushy job that Brazilians over here can never usually get, ha ha, we still laugh about this[me and the Brazilian] and then I gave him 80% of my monthly salary, cos I was paid very well compared to normal salaries, so retaining 20% for the financially rainy but bright day when I returned to Japan, whenever that would end up being.
Not having to rush my way through all that happened, really helped and I am so sorry that J has this hanging over his head. The world has lost it if people who are sick are made to worry about their jobs, too.Most companies make huge profits and only start whinging when the huge, massive profits just become realistic profits, which are still usually enough for businesses to get by on, and so the extra money made should always be there to support workers who have to take time off, or rather, to cushion the company from having to threaten workers who take time off with time limits.
Sigh. I am rooting for Jody from over here. I think he's being a trooper.
I guess this is normal in the US, my dad went through company abandonment so to speak when he was retired at 46 with a massive heart attack. They all but threw him out in the street. What will be hard is when he goes back to work and then the company leaves and he moves on to another company and he becomes risk in the eyes of their insurance. And what happens if he every (God forbid) gets cancer again? Is it then a pre-existing condition?
Staying alive is the imperative here. Forget the company, our healthcare system, doctors/nurses, future employers. There is only Jody and there is only today.
I have so much advice to give but so little at stake. I am not Jody and I am not you. The only thing that I can say for sure that will help you both is - you are doing the right thing. Your last paragraph sums things up nicely.
I'm rooting for an early December too.
PS - Maria (Overboard) knows more than I do. Listen to her. When she was hospitalized, I was with her every step of the way. I thought about her daily and wanted to be by her side, more than I can tell you. I came very close to flying to the UK to hold her hand. I talked to her almost daily and, yes me, the Agnostic, prayed for her. I don't know if I helped, other than being an encouraging voice from the other side of the ocean. I wish and hope the same for you and Jody. I will pray tonight, even though I'm not sure if He listens to me anymore.
Give Jody a hug for me (is that weird?). Well hell, I'm weird. At least I don't try to hide the weirdness.
Brian
Oh thank you Boo, I appreciate your prayers... He listens, He listens even harder to those who don't pray often or not at all. And those are the kind that do the most good, Thanks.
I don't know what to say. My thoughts are with you. Your resolve and determination and your positive thoughts are amazing and commendable.
Thanks duder, at times it's hard... I go to work and someone yells at me and I just want to take it out on everyone there... so that I don't come home a let fly on him. He can get so mopey, so negative sometimes.
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